BDSM: DISCOVERING A NEW WORLD

 H oy will make a very different kind of post, we begin to discover theworld BDSM from scratch, but through a special interview with one of our first collaborators of Quench Sex,Moon, practicingBDSMand Domina declared.

Today we do not know anything about this world, except for the erotic toys that we sell in our erotic shop and some well-known movies that have given us a “slight idea" but which has also unleashed our curiosity. We leave you with an interview that will surely get you out of many doubts related to this world, of course, starting from total ignorance of the subject.

We could start by putting a definition of what BDSM is, but we have many answers of that type on the net, what really interests us is the definition of an expert:

How would Luna define BDSM?

THE BDSM is just a way of living sex, I do not understand it as a way of life. My partner and I have a relationship, in which we practice BDSM as a sexual activity. The rest of our life is the normal relationship of a couple where the roles of Master / submissive are lost, yes … hahaha, as you can see, I am Domina to everyone except for him, who is his submissive.

I enjoyed throwing the wax on me, without really knowing why, now I understand. I am a very masochistic person, I like pain and I enjoy it.

How or what aroused your curiosity in this world so unknown to the vast majority?

The attraction comes from a young age. I have childhood memories already playing with candles. I enjoyed throwing the wax on me, without really knowing why, now I understand. I am a very masochistic person, I like pain and I enjoy it. I rediscovered these sensations as an adult and in an environment that, after several bad experiences, when I found the right person, I began to enjoy again. I do not think that any person should be “educated", as those who do not know the world of BDSM say, in what you do not like. Am @'s work is complicated, I must discover the tastes of my submissives, and apply it to them. If they are not masochistic … do not apply pain, if they do not like humiliation, do not practice it. The Am @ must know very well the person who gives him his trust, who puts his person in your hands.

Does it become an excessively hard and insecure practice as many believe or does it have very marked limits?

THE BDSM is very broad. It should not be confused with sadomasochism as the only form of expression. There are many modalities where pain is not applied. I am a masochist, but I am also an exhibitionist, a fetishist, and some more … Pain only intervenes, and not always, in the masochistic part. And always at controlled levels.

Of course, it is very safe. We start from the idea of ​​what makes the difference between BDSM and abuse, it is the maxim of the SSC , sensible, safe and consensual. It is undoubtedly the most implanted idea in BDSM. You should never practice without this clear and well-defined idea.

The first time you participated (I don't know what it would be called) in a BDSM session? What feelings did you have?

The first few times, as I have commented before, were strange. I really started to enjoy it when I found the right group of people. I made the most frequent and dangerous mistake, letting myself be guided by the Internet. It led me to meet people who defined themselves as Dominant and… they weren't, they were pseudo-people without experience with many novels on top of them… Later I met locals and people with experience. I changed everything and began to enjoy it.

I really started to enjoy it when I found the right group of people. I made the most frequent and dangerous mistake, letting myself be guided by the Internet.
 

It is the first recommendation that people must take into account. You should not meet online and stay private for a first date. It is very simple, if a person does not want to stay in a place, which offers security and where the abusers are eliminated, something hides, usually under the phrase “I live it in private", a phrase frequently used by abusers. The locals offer a space to play and get to know each other, but always for their own good, for sure. They will not allow bad practices, nor a person without mastery of a technique harming or forcing another.

As my own experience, the first few times were revealing of my tastes, but dangerous. But once the safe environment was known, it was a spectacular experience. Being able to play with people who controlled, who knew how to handle me and give me pleasure in a way that I had not known before, was incredible.

Later, when I started dominating, every day I discovered more about myself. The pleasure of giving pleasure, knowing that that person is in your hands and believes in you. To see a man come with pleasure without touching him, with the simple fact of letting him worship my feet or feeling the domination. They are incredible experiences that I encourage you to try, it is another world much more sensual than sexual, using these toys to turn your fantasies into reality and discovering everything with them is fantastic.

How did you choose to be Domina?

I was exclusively submissive, but my Master showed me a part of myself that we developed together. Being a Domina gives me a new way of looking at life and influences my personal life in a positive way. Feeling the surrender that a submissive gives you, that treasure that he offers you, is incredible. Domination is very complicated, it really requires experience to be able to control it safely. Both submission and domination must be tutored to become good and positive.

You must flee from negative dominations, those that go through eliminating the submissive's personality or distancing yourself from your friends or family. That is a scourge that must be eliminated from BDSM. 

Do you prefer experienced submissives or beginners?

They are two very different experiences, The experienced sub offers you a more precise and complete game. The submissive beginner involves a very complicated training job, but it gives a lot of satisfaction to know how to do it well, to discover who he really is, who can deliver.

In your day to day, are you Dominant or is it something that is only reflected sexually and in your relationship?

In character it shows. Obviously you are dominant all day. Now let's get one thing clear. Being submissive or dominant is inspired by the person in front of you. With which, I am not authoritarian, I do not command and order without sense. When you go from sexual play to getting the dominant in all the relationships you have throughout the day, you have a serious psychological problem that should be treated.

Being Dominant should only be a sexual game, both with my partner and with other people. Beyond reinforcing an arrogant or arrogant personality, which can characterize a dominant during practice.

Curiosities, anecdotes …?

There are many curiosities that, from the inside, we do not grasp much. Lately, in our introduction to the liberal world, we are very surprised that when we go to a place accompanied by other couples who do not know it, they are surprised by little things … to see a man worshiping feet or playing a dog, for example.

I'm an exhibitionist, we have a great time showing parts of my body in public places, seeing how they react… it's fun. On my website you can see some of these situations, the photos will undoubtedly produce a smile.

Perhaps what produces the most anecdotes are fetishisms, you are dressed in a certain way and you see the faces of people who have that fetishism, because of latex for example, much more frequent than it seems. And seeing that, produces many times, without a contact or a word, excitement in both, in the  person who looks at you and in me, for being admired, desired … It is part of my exhibitionism, therefore of my excitement.

From everything you've come to hear, what are people most confused about when it comes to BDSM?

The most common misconception is that the sub is a voided person who does not know what they want. This society confuses submission, as a sexual option, with a lack of personality. Nothing to see. If a man enjoys that submission, surrendering to an Am @, he is still “a macho".

There are many taboos in this regard. Without realizing that, many times, these men are people of power in society, who, tired of their daily responsibility, only seek to be in a relaxed environment, where the responsibility belongs to someone else. As simple as that. They are fantasies, like everything in sex. Hence the importance of the new forms adopted by sex shops like yours. You have to develop your mind, a walk through your store gives a thousand options where to find what we like, among them, the practices of BDSM.

What do you think is due to see BDSM as a practice that gives a certain “fear"?

To bad information. It is certainly a practice that, at high levels of experience, carries risks. It is a dark world, with the attraction of the forbidden and dangerous. Perhaps it is we ourselves, the practitioners, who nurture that idea. Nothing could be further from the truth. It is always safe as we said before, with SSC. To look for a simile, if you buy a motorcycle, you drive it responsibly, you are not Marquez on the circuit, although there are always fools … You see people on the streets as if they were Marquez, they have accidents, BDSM is the same. If you “drive" safely, you should not have accidents. But fools in BDSM, there are many on the internet. Playing as a couple does not carry any risk or danger. You are going to set the limits and without a doubt you know each other very well.

What would you say to people who reduce this practice to abusers and mistreated?

As I said before, there are, but they are not from the world of BDSM. They are abusers hidden in this world. They practically only act through the Internet to contact people. Abusers are banned and eliminated in premises and mistreated ones are highly protected so that it does not happen if a case is detected.

It is an image that we fight to eliminate and that, whenever we detect it, we report it to the authorities.

Let's not forget that only in Catalonia, there are around 7,000 people registered on a BDSM world page such as Fetlife, of which, real in practice, it will not exceed 500. The rest, those 6,500 people, are curious people and, among them , people among whom there are undoubtedly abusers and mistreated. What cannot be condemned a sexual practice in a general way. As in all houses, there is everything.

And so that there is no doubt, can you explain to us, what gives you pleasure in being Dominant?

Lately, I have seen a movie that defined it very simply. It is a film without sex, broadcast by Nova television during protection hours, with that I tell you everything, it is titled " The secret life of a single mother . Far from the usual movies where you see more of the abuse that we talk about so much, in this movie it shows a very real way, perhaps the most real, of everything I have seen of a BDSM relationship. Relationship, not the practices that are not seen. In it, the Master defines very well what and why he became dominant. As simple as: It gives me what I like in sex, without having to ask for it every day.

BDSM gives me the freedom to know that what I do likes the other person, it gives me the freedom to experiment in my own sexuality, it gives me the pleasure of noticing his pleasure, that of my submissive, a total surrender of his person, who drink and drive for the pleasure of both. They are sensations difficult to explain if they are not felt.

And, the submissive, where does he get or what gives him pleasure in a BDSM relationship?

The submissive gets it from freedom. As we said before, he is not a slave, a term that I do not think exists in BDSM. We go back to the bad novels, which use those terms and confuse people a lot. The submissive enjoys the freedom to let himself be done, without responsibility, receiving pleasure in it and giving pleasure to the Am @ making it his own. If you think about it, it is the perfect role … if I like what you do to me, you are good Am @, if not, I leave you and look for another, without major concern, without having to think, just letting yourself be done and enjoying without responsibility … Hahaha .

Favorite BDSM toys?

Many … hahahaha. The last whip (floguer) you sent me is a great tool to play with. It is a whip that applies a great psychological sensation, the noise it makes is fantastic, but it does not cause any pain. We have played with him with friends who were beginning to know the world of BDSM and they have been amazed. It is, without a doubt, the best to start playing as a couple without experience. Keep in mind that they vary a lot by material and its function, they can do a lot of damage and no noise. In the specific case of this, already psychologically, being combined with a corset matching the handle and those really beautiful tips of the whip, already produces a sensation that predisposes the submissive to pleasure. Seeing it explode with so much sound and knowing that it doesn't feel anything other than a little heat… it excites a lot.

There are many more… playing with handcuffs, immobilization elements of all kinds, and above all, fetishism; latex, masks, all kinds of dildos and harnesses to use them… Although, above all, in men, there is still a long way to go… When everyone discovers the P point, they will use a lot of dildos of all sizes.

From my point of view tell you; that the relationship of a couple who practices BDSM is enviable, of absolute trust and worthy of admiration, far from liking these practices more or less, in addition to having a very high complicity and a high level of security. Really, amazing.

Tell us a little about your projects?

Now we are committed to expanding the new website. Expanding the concept. We have discovered that people want, not only to see my friends and me play, but also for us to teach them how to do it. They want us to come up with ideas, refresh their relationships. That is why the new changes are going around, the new sections of the website “La erotica de luna".

Now we create new sections where we teach ways to use toys, items that can give pleasure as a couple or alone. All based on the experience of playing with them and showing it. A fun way to get to know new forms of sex and places.

We will talk about the places of BDSM and Exchange, even some more underground place type space of filming or alternative festivals. Ultimately, it seeks to be able to offer everything that people really need or want to know. We also include the head sexologist who will answer the questions of our friends. And as always, the websites of our friends, true specialists in their field, will follow. We will show from professional erotic photographers, to a sexual food website, where you can discover that the two things are more than united … Also the stores where you can get the items we use or contact with professional women who can help you make your biggest fantasies come true. Always trustworthy people that we meet in person, with experience and training appropriate to their discipline.

Finally, thank you for this interview. I am always ready to shed light on BDSM and, with open people like you, it's a pleasure.

We continue to see each other on the networks, a big kiss.

Thank you very much Luna for everything, as always it is a pleasure to have you collaborating with us and instructing us with these topics that are now much more well-known but that for some, like us, it was totally unknown.

And do you have any questions about BDSM? Ask your questions in the comments!