To this day, the female orgasm remains a myth for many. Although much has been studied about it, few women are able to experience it. A survey carried out by the University of São Paulo (USP) shows that 55% of Brazilian women do not reach orgasm during sexual intercourse.
There are several factors that can explain this data, which will be discussed later. In addition to the biological differences between genders, which result in different ways of experiencing pleasure, men and women tend to view sex differently. For them, the issue is broader than a relationship with penetration.
In fact, self-esteem, confidence, consequences of the sexual act, social pressures, negative memories related to sex, among other elements, influence women’s sexual experience.
Myths about female orgasm
First, let’s talk about the myths surrounding women’s ability to have orgasms as many believe it’s an impossible feat.
- The woman must have an orgasm with penetration
Most women do not reach orgasm with vaginal sex alone. You need to stimulate the clitoris for this to happen. After all, this organ is one of the greatest sources of pleasure for them. The distance between the birth canal and the clitoris influences the sensations felt during penetrative sex. The closer they are, the better.
As the female anatomy is unique, this is not always the case. To stimulate orgasm, then, the couple can use vibrators or resort to masturbation. This little help does not mean that sex is bad or that there is something wrong with the woman.
The belief that a woman should only enjoy penetration is misguided and must be fought for both partners to have memorable sex!
- Masturbation makes it difficult to have orgasms in sex
The conviction that masturbation gets in the way of sex with a partner isn’t right either. That is, women must masturbate to get to know their bodies as well as the best form of sexual stimulation.
Thus, this knowledge can be shared with the partner so that sex is more beneficial. You can use your fingers or vibrators. For best results, it’s recommended to diversify so that the body doesn’t get addicted to just one type of sensation.
- All women have orgasms
Women who can’t climax or encounter difficulties shouldn’t feel bad. There are some explanations for this, such as the use of continuous medications, such as antidepressants, dyspareunia, history of trauma, hormonal dysfunction, vaginismus, among others.
Sometimes the problem is partner-related. Therefore, you should cultivate a sincere relationship so that often embarrassing topics can be discussed without generating conflicts.
Another factor that can compromise the pleasure of intercourse is a condition called anorgasmia. A woman has difficulty reaching orgasm even with sufficient sexual arousal or stimulation.
Fortunately, there is treatment! If you suspect you may have this condition, a sexologist can help you reach a verdict.
- Women who don’t have orgasm have mental disorders
Although mental disorders tend to influence the sex lives of both men and women, this is not always the case. Female orgasm can happen with or without the presence of a disorder.
The problem is when unscientific speculations start to circulate among people, labeling the partner as problematic.
The truth is, orgasm is a psychological and physical reaction. Therefore, numerous pathologies of both types can prevent it from happening. When suspecting an illness, the correct conduct is to seek a solution with a trusted specialist.
Unfortunately, many couples do not do so out of shame or fear of being teased. There is nothing unusual about seeking help to improve your sex life, whether in therapy or in a doctor’s office.
How to stimulate female orgasm?
Sex goes beyond vaginal penetration. A sexual experience involves passionate kisses, lingering caresses, heartfelt praise, partner security, varied positions, oral sex, and clitoral stimulation.
In addition, the moments prior to the act, such as the warm messages exchanged throughout the day, also interfere in the relationship as a whole.
The quality of the relationship or bond with the partner is also extremely important. If the night ends right after your partner orgasms, you will be frustrated and dissatisfied, right?
The partner needs to be aware of seeking his pleasure until the final moment. It may seem obvious, but this is a common problem in heterosexual relationships.
Another issue is self-esteem. Feeling sure of yourself helps make sex better. Women who are extremely critical of their bodies tend to have more difficulty having orgasms.
Low self-esteem arising from a distorted opinion of one’s personality is equally harmful. Negative self-awareness can have many roots, which often lie dormant inside our minds.
To improve understanding, let’s look at some common elements that make female orgasm difficult.
Factors that hinder female orgasm
Negative beliefs about sex: In our society it is even more common to teach girls negative things about sex. Phrases such as “sex is dirty”, “a woman needs to be modest about sex”, “a woman who has many sexual partners does not deserve respect” accompany the girl who listens to them until adulthood. Thus, they manifest themselves during sexual encounters or relationships, making it harder for her to let go during sex.
Traumas: Traumas need not only be linked to penetrative sex. Negative experiences with masturbation, oral sex, derogatory words, or the glimpse of the male genital organ as a child influence sex life. These traumas often turn into repressed memories.
Pain: Women who experience pain from penetration should see a doctor because constant pain is not common. If your partner is being too vigorous, talk to him so the incident doesn’t happen again. Together you can find more pleasurable ways to have sex.
Always get right to the point: routine can sour any relationship. If the partner just thinks about “let’s see,” ignoring the partner’s wishes to try something different or slow down, sex will not be pleasurable.
Ways to Stimulate Female Orgasm
How to stimulate female orgasm within relationships or in casual relationships? The first thing to do is to agree with yourself, as this is your most important relationship.
You need to see yourself as the person you are rather than the version created in your head. Otherwise, you may even think that you don’t deserve to feel pleasure.
With more self-confidence and self-esteem, you will be able to enjoy sex and also have the courage to talk to your partner about sexual problems.
Check out some more ways to promote orgasms below.
Using sex toys and vibrators;
Stimulate the clitoris more intensely;
Have a romantic evening;
Fulfill sexual fantasies;
Strengthen trust in the relationship;
Try different positions;
Try to stimulate other erogenous areas, such as the breasts, neck, ears, inner thighs.