ORAL SEX: CUNNILINGUS

WHAT IS CUNNILINGUS?

The cunnilingus is a sexual practice, in particular, it is oral sex when it is directed towards the vulva. This unfamiliar word comes from the Latin, cunnus which means vulva and lingo to lick . Its popularity is quite representative, since at the time of practice it is far from being equated with its counterpart on the penis , fellatio .

If you are interested in the subject, it is that something is changing. And this change, as simple as it may seem, begins by giving it the importance it deserves . For this, we are going to see everything about Cunnilingus , or at least almost everything.

Oral sex? 

According to a study published by the Center for Sociological Research (CIS) , two out of three people in Spain believe that oral sex is talking about sex . And one in three mistakes it for having sex for an hour . Nothing to see If you were one of those three people don't worry, after reading about cunnilingus, you're going to come out of these statistics.

Oral sex is the sexual practice where the genitals are stimulated with the help of the mouth . It may be for more than an hour and it is not necessary to talk about it, although it would be nice to do so. This practice has multiple varieties, as many as the imagination and tastes allow.

Today, especially in heterosexual relationships, oral sex continues to get into the drawer of foreplay , which makes it unfortunate and wrongly a second-rate practice.

What are the preliminaries?

The so-called preliminaries collect and whose purpose is to excite , and then reach penetration . Under this construct is the idea that if there is no penetration, the sexual relationship is not “complete." This phallocentric and heteronormative vision places sexual relations between women in an eternal preliminary. This view of sexuality is the reason why there are so many doubts about how two women have sex, because if there is no penetration, then what do they do? As you will see, this narrow vision has gaps.

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What consequences does this have?

If you have a sexual relationship in mind as an orderly sequence of steps to follow where after one goes after two, you are limiting and reducing your sexuality to stratospheric levels. As a consequence of clipping the wings of your imagination, your sexual relationships can fall into a routine and become boring and unsatisfying . In sexual relations there are no instructions, they are yours, you command.

In general, this sequence tends to have the same order in the collective imagination. First the so-called preliminaries would go, then the penetration and then the orgasm / ejaculation. Chance? No, this is due to biased or no sex education .

Why does this order limit our sexuality?

Let's say you start with the first step, the so-called " preliminaries ." Specifically, because of cunnilingus . The purpose is for the person receiving oral sex to become aroused, and they are. Let's imagine that this person is you, and you reach a point where you have a very high arousal. The unwritten rule says that it would be at that moment where you would have to stop, in order to move on to step two with the other person. This second step is penetration and this is where you have to have an orgasm.

If the purpose is to enjoy and with cunnilingus you are enjoying , why do you have to stop and go to step two? Around this response, there is usually the belief that if the orgasm is at the same time during penetration, it is more intense. It is not like this. Achieving simultaneous orgasm can often cause it not to happen and also if it does, it is not more intense, it is simply at the same time.

Regardless of your sexual orientation, if for you oral sex is a preliminary that aims to prepare the way for orgasm but without reaching it, you will not be able to stay and enjoy that moment to the fullest . You will live this experience as holding back, or thinking about something else, which all it does is inevitably lower your excitement. This situation often triggers lack of orgasms and loss of erection . The perfect pack.

The purpose of sexual intercourse is pleasure and enjoyment, not a specific practice. So all the combinations are fine, there is no a, b, c, of what a sexual relationship has to be like.


The problem is not so much the penetration itself
 , but from where it is practiced. That is, if from obligation or from desire. The purpose of sexual intercourse is pleasure and enjoyment, not a specific practice. So all the combinations are fine, there is no a, b, c, of what a sexual relationship has to be like. So as long as both parties are satisfied, that's fine. There is no practice that is better than another as long as it is chosen from freedom and desire, not from imposition.

So if you practice cunnilingus and she has an orgasm, that's fine. Regardless of sexual orientation, but especially from heterosexuality, keep in mind that there are more practices besides penetration, for example fellatio. And above all, internalize that they are all equally important. But we return to the same thing, being aware that oral sex does not prepare the way for anything, it is a practice in itself. Changing this idea will make sex more enjoyable and with less stigma.

In sexual relations between women, in general, the belief of penetration does not haunt as strongly, since these ideas are usually more rooted in heterosexuality. Above all, due to hegemonic masculinity, which has much more visible and marked roles in sexual relations. What does not mean that there is a tendency to penetration among women, from the feeling that in this way the sexual relationship is better or complete. These are just some of the consequences of phallocentric sexual education and the culture in which we live, which has permeated us since we were little, whether we are men or women.

So let's shake it off and get all the sexual practices out of the foreplay drawer . Here in particular, we are going to give the importance it deserves to cunnilingus, with all the history behind it and that praises it as an ancestral sexual practice.

Cunnilingus, an ancient practice

China
's  Taoism included cunnilingus as one of its main practices. Vaginal secretions and fluids were believed to have vitality, so ingesting these increased the vitality of those who ingested them. Oral sex gave them life. Empress Wu Zetian, who was very selfless, wrote a decree during her reign saying that important visitors should pay their respects by performing cunnilingus on her.

India
There are temples where we can find sculptures that show women performing oral sex on other women. This is what is known as 'auparishtaka'. Unthinkable to find this type of representation in other cultures or religions. In addition, we find the Ananga Ranga, this is a book written in the 16th century by the poet Kaliana Mal·la. It speaks of a liquid, the Kama salila or water of life, which is poured out by women during orgasm. From the tantric tradition, this fluid is known by the name of amrita, which means “nectar of joy." It is also translated as “divine nectar or of immortality." Lots of life in India.

Japan
There was a genre of visual representations, called “Shunga". The themes of the illustrations were sexual practices and among a very diverse crowd, cunnilingus was represented as one more practice. This representation was both heterosexual and homosexual, they could also be two or more people.

Why is it practiced less?

Today there are many people who say they have never received or practiced oral sex. And what is this due to?

On the one hand, there is the fact of practicing it, and on the other, receiving it. Both have to be given for it to be carried out satisfactorily. It is the first of consent, but it does not hurt to remember it and keep it in mind. If someone does not want you to practice it, it is their full right, and if you do not want to do it, too. Although it is important to reflect on the reason for this.

Cultural heritage

Sexuality in Spanish society is highly influenced by the Judeo-Christian reproductive model. The weight of this inheritance that has touched us has had a direct impact and especially on the subjugation of women, censuring their sexual freedom and reducing it to procreation. So a sexual practice that does not provide any benefit to procreate and that consists of providing pleasure solely and exclusively to the vulva did not make sense.

In ancient rome   

Far from the orgies and sexual freedom we imagine, the laws were homophobic and misogynistic . In fact, there was a hierarchy of sexual degradation where, along with prostitutes, men who performed oral sex on women, would be imposed the legal status of infamous, which prevented them from voting among other limitations. And if we talk about women with women, this was already the maximum.

In classical Greece   

Hippocrates known as the father of medicine, spoke of a female “semen" . This semen he was referring to could either be female ejaculation or vaginal lubrication . Despite being different things, the difference is irrelevant when it comes to justifying its benefits in this context. He stated that this semen favored reproduction and that it was also decisive in the genitalia of the future baby. So that the pleasure of the woman is justified if the end is reproductive, and if not?

So, if there is an arousal prior to penetration, it will promote orgasm , and thus benefit reproduction . Currently, even without having the purpose of procreating, this nonsensical idea continues to be maintained, and the worst thing is that when it is given, we do not even rethink it.

According to the latest data from the Center for Sociological Research, four out of ten people in Spain have never practiced or received oral sex towards the vulva. And it is that although we are in the process of de-construction, we have a long way to go. Currently, oral sex towards the vulva is much less integrated into heterosexual relationships than that directed towards the penis.

Why don't you want oral sex? 

There are many reasons why someone does not want oral sex, of course. Although unfortunately most are common, and these arise as a consequence of the stigmatization of sexuality in women. And it is that this manifests itself in different ways, some very explicit and others more subtle, in such a way that today we continue to drag some in the form of complexes.

Body odor 

The vulva smells like a vulva. It does not smell of flowers, nor of fresh bread. Many times there are jokes or derogatory comments regarding the body odor of the vulva, as embarrassing. Nothing to do with the smell of feet or sweat. This causes many women to feel rejection of their own smell, avoiding contact in the genital area, and abusing soaps to remove the natural smell. And it is that when we wash with soaps that are not Ph neutral, our genital Ph is altered and loses the acidity that characterizes it. Genital Ph is acidic to protect against infections, with the odor that characterizes it. If you do not want your vulva to smell like a vulva and you abuse these soaps, you will spoil your natural protective barrier which will cause an even stronger smell, vaginal dryness and less defenses when it comes to protecting against infections and fungi. Therefore,reconcile with your body odor to feel comfortable with your body and your fluids. Of course, always from the hygiene point of view, since it is important to keep the genital area clean, either with water or with neutral Ph soap.

Body

Major and minor lips. Lips come in different sizes and shapes, the larger ones are not always larger than the smaller ones. And backwards. This simple fact generates that many people are unhappy with their body because they believe that their anatomy does not fit with reality. Your anatomy is fine, it's real. Names have to adapt to bodies, not bodies to names. That's what doesn't fit, not you. The same goes for the shapes, they don't have to be symmetrical, or collected, or anything. If someone underestimates the shape of your lips, the limiting factor is not your body, but their idea of ​​sexuality, that is a reason to be self-conscious. And as advice, better not have relationships with that person, at least until those ideas are removed, because on that basis, expectations are quite low. 

So if we call things by their name, it really embraces all bodies and realities. The labia majora become the external ones, since they are born from the outside, and the labia minora, the internal ones, since they are born from the inside.

Orgasm and shame

During cunnilingus, among many other parts, the glans of the clitoris is stimulated, making it very likely to have an orgasm. There are many women who are not familiar with their orgasms, and this is due in large part to the fact that they have not masturbated, either frequently, or not at all. This self-knowledge often generates shame about how this orgasm will look from the outside. As if we live in a movie and we have to be sexy all the time. This is what is known as the role of the spectator. So in order to enjoy your orgasms, you have to become familiar with them, know yourself and above all, let yourself be carried away by the sensations.

Strategies for cunnilingus

“In tastes there is nothing written" , and that is that each person is unique in their individuality, so there is no script, and if there is, do not trust how it has to be done. The only person who can tell you what to do to leave him in total and absolute ecstasy is herself. Each body is unique. Now, if you are going to practice cunnilingus, there are some details to keep in mind.

Perfect moment

To enjoy it to the fullest, you must find the perfect moment. But be careful not to fall into the trap of looking for the perfect moment that never comes. The moment is when you feel like it, where you want it and how you want it . Always bearing in mind that there is not something with which you do not feel comfortable, if there is, it must be dealt with, otherwise it will be interfering in the total enjoyment of the practice. Therefore, it is important that you eliminate distractions or stimuli that do not make you fully enjoy yourself.

The important thing is the path, not the goal

The clitoris is a fundamental part of cunnilingus, of course. But remember that the glans , which is the visible part, has more than 8,500 nerve endings . If you directly stimulate the glans, it can be uncomfortable. In addition, when the skin is overstimulated it generates a kind of anesthesia, so that it stops feeling. This is what happens to us with clothes, when we get dressed we notice that we are putting them on, but we do not constantly feel the clothes. So overstimulation is counterproductive. 

The skin is sensitive and covers our entire body. It starts by stimulating any part of your skin. Look for new erogenous zones and gradually work your way down to the genital zone. Once you have reached the vulva area you can continue stimulating without going directly to oral sex. The important thing is to enjoy the relationship, the more excitement there is and the more desire, the more it will be enjoyed.

A little anatomy

In order to stimulate different parts of the vulva, it is important to locate and recognize them. But above all that whoever has the vulva who is familiar with their genitals and how to stimulate them. To do this, you can help yourself with a mirror and gradually recognize each part, alone or in company. Go for it.

  • Vagina

This is where you can stimulate around the vaginal opening with your tongue.

As an idea, you can innovate by practicing Humming , this is making your lips vibrate while doing cunnilingus , so that you increase the sensations. In addition, in the vagina you can while practicing oral sex, insert your fingers and stimulate the G zone or penetrate with the help of the tongue.

  • Urethral orifice

This in cunnilingus has no place, but it is important that you locate it in the anatomy of the vulva.

  • Outer and inner lips

They are totally sensitive to stimuli. You can start here, sucking, biting gently, stroking or licking.

  • Clitoris

It is the area with the largest nerve endings, what you see on the outside is the glans of the clitoris, a small part of the total of its anatomy, which continues inside. You can stimulate it gently and gradually increase the intensity.

  • Perineum

The forgotten area. This part of the body is very sensitive, it is located between the vagina and the anus . It has many nerve endings, although not as many as the clitoris. You can stimulate her to make oral sex less genitalized and more stimulating.

  • Mons pubis

It is the part that covers the pubic bone. In this area, many nerve endings in the clitoris are connected, as well as on the inner thighs. You can stimulate it by pressing gently while performing oral sex.

GREAT POWER COMES WITH GREAT RESPONSIBILITY

It is important to take into account the preferences. In this sense, communication from both parties is extremely important . Saying you like and what you don't, or marking your preferences with gestures and movements will help you enjoy the relationship more and guide the other person. Your pleasure is your responsibility, for what you do and express what you want. If you leave it in the hands of someone else, it is a lot of responsibility and it is most likely that you will not be right and you will not enjoy one hundred percent. You can also stimulate yourself so the sensations will be double. Or take his hand and guide him. Pretending is not an option. Make it yours!

On the other hand, if you are the one who is doing it, you can look at non-verbal language to know whether to continue on that path or not. Or, having previously discussed tastes in this sense. But above all, enjoy too. Sometimes, and due to that responsibility where you feel that the pleasure of the other person depends solely and exclusively on you, you can be at such a level of pressure that you do not enjoy what you are doing. Do not do anything you do not want, enjoy what you are doing, it does not depend on you, and if you do it with enthusiasm, it shows.

A LOT OF LIGHT DOES NOT GIVE CLARITY, BLIND.

There is no standard intensity of stimulation, it must be set by the person receiving the stimulation. Not by stimulating more, nor stronger is better. You can intersperse the stimulation, or start from less to more gradually. But above all, listen to your body, it will surely guide you. And if not, you ask him.

Lubrication

Lubrication is key when having sex. There is a belief that if it is not lubricated in a natural way, it is that there is no arousal. It is not like this. Lubrication can be affected by many factors. Although it is oral sex and it is with the help of saliva, sometimes not enough is generated. For this reason, it is important to remember that we have the lubricant as an ally so that our relationships are pleasant and without limitations in this sense. There are smells, flavors and different effects and textures.

To do

Enjoy what you are doing and taking into account the tastes of the other person, an infallible technique is, if you run out of ideas, imagine that they were doing it to you. What would you like and how. Focus on what you are doing, if your head goes away, nothing happens, it is normal, but go back and change what you are doing. Concentration to the maximum. Remember that the important thing is that you enjoy both parts.

If you are the one who receives it, focus on the sensations and abandon yourself. You can fantasize, stimulate the other person as well, or just feel. It is very common to read or listen to the typical, relax. Relaxation and excitement are polar opposites. If you want to keep it, forget about relaxing. In addition, this is very dangerous, especially according to what hours, because relaxation and sleep are very intimate companions.

Where two fit, three fit

No person can be substituted for a purple vibrator, nor is anyone going to bring their satisfyer to a wedding escort.

In cunnilingus the key is the mouth. This does not mean that you can use toys or your fingers as a surprise element. An extra tool provides another stimulus to practice that will always enhance and aid arousal. As toys you can use vibrating bullets , dildos , vibrators or suckers. There are many times where behind the resistance to toys is the fear of abandonment. Toys are tools that help, they are allies in sexual relations. No person can be substituted for a purple vibrator, nor is anyone going to bring their satisfyer to a wedding escort. Although nobody is a word that sometimes remains big. Do not be afraid, use the toys to your advantage and make the relationship more satisfactory with that extra fun and good vibes. 

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FROM OUR MOUTH: REAL OPINIONS

What is not talked about does not seem to exist. For a long time women's bodies have been “conquered" by men. From anatomy, G-spot, Grafenberg's, Skene's glands, Fallopian tubes, or Bartholin's glands. All names in honor of its “discoverer", and not thanks to which woman or women “discovered" it. Even what we have to like, what not, how much and how it has to be. Clitoral or vaginal orgasm, frigid, hysterical or nympho woman. So that's okay now. Let's talk about our sexuality openly, let's share our experiences, tastes and curiosities with other women. Let's make it ours. Cone!

The vast majority of articles on cunnilingus are usually written from what the other person has to do to provide you pleasure, but not from what you can do yourself to direct your own pleasure and intensify it. I hope that throughout this article, you have opened other possibilities, and above all, you take responsibility for your enjoyment.

So to learn about cunnilingus in the first person, I can't think of a better way than asking about the personal experiences of who receives it, rather than who does it. Here I share some of the personal experiences that I have collected to nurture and have a broader vision of oral sex towards the vulva. Since we are still in this process of transition and empowerment, I will respect the anonymity of all those who have wanted to share their experiences with me. Thank you, thank you and thank you!

  • I like that it starts slowly and provoking. Little by little faster and in the end a little penetration. But not much. Especially with the fingers, but down. Love it. What I do not like is that I go very strong or that I drool all over. I also don't like the intensity to be monotonous, I like that there are ups and downs.

  • Oral sex I like, but I absolutely do not like being fingered.

  • I like that while it is oral sex I put my fingers at the same time, and if instead of the fingers it is the tongue, the better.

  • When I have intercourse on all fours, at the moment of maximum excitement I like him to stop and give me oral sex, and then continue again, and so on all the time. I love that moment.

  • My partner says he likes it better when I have a beard.

  • From my experience with men and women, broadly speaking, I like oral sex more when I have it with women. With men they tend to have less patience, they are more direct and are very focused on putting their fingers in. Putting them in fast or hard doesn't mean it's better.

  • I like that he lick my thighs and around. Let it get closer little by little. That everything is very wet and that above all, leave the clitoris for last. And there, while he's at work, let him stick his fingers in me.

  • Oral sex I like it to be at the same time, I love that we motivate each other. And that it smells good, the smell and hygiene are basic.

SUMMARY FAQS

What is a Cunnilingus?

It is about oral sex when it is directed towards the vulva. This unfamiliar word comes from the Latin, cunnus which means vulva and lingo to lick.

What is oral sex?

Well, it is not sex for an hour, nor is it talking about sex. It is the sexual practice where the genitals are stimulated with the help of the mouth.

How to do a good cunnilingus?

“In tastes there is nothing written", and that is that each person is unique in their individuality, so there is no script, and if there is, do not trust how it has to be done. The only person who can tell you what to do to leave him in total and absolute ecstasy is herself. Each body is unique. Now, if you are going to practice cunnilingus, there are some details to keep in mind. Keep reading on the blog.

Do you want to read real opinions of how they like a cunnilingus?

Enter the article and read some opinions of women, of how they like to practice oral sex, do not miss it!