SEXUALITY IN PARENTING.

      ¿ Q hat isbemother? What is being a father? Is being a mother considered the same as being a father?
Currently and in the vast majority of contexts, motherhood is not experienced the same as fatherhood. In which bathroom is the diaper changer? Regardless of sexual orientation, being a mother or father is subject to beliefs about how parenting should be lived based on your gender. This situation often triggers sexual relations to take a second or third level depending on what role you play at the time of parenting.

Regardless of sexual orientation, being a mother or father is subject to beliefs about how parenting should be lived based on your gender

What could be influencing my sexuality?

In addition to gender roles, there are different factors that can influence how you experience your sexuality in parenting. On the one hand, there is oxytocin , a hormone responsible for linking affective bonds, generating above all well-being and pleasant sensations. It is known as the hormone of love. This has one of its highest secretion peaks during orgasm , during childbirth and lactation. When the newborn sucks the nipple, it activates oxytocin and prolactin (responsible for milk production) . Therefore, in order to breastfeed, high peaks of oxytocin are generated, which causes a feeling of well-being maintained during the lactation period.

If that sense of well-being already exists through breastfeeding, there is less interest in seeking it through sexual intercourse. In María Llopis's book , « Subversive maternity hospitals «, you can find more information about it.

Another aspect that may be influencing how you live your sexuality is what idea you have of sexuality, how you live your sexual relationships, how you have lived before parenting and how you inhabit your body. If you previously did not prioritize it, probably now with less time for you, much less. You can not have sex because you don't feel like it, it is totally legal. When you feel like it, if you feel like it, you go back to it. The important thing is to keep in mind that sexuality is a pleasant sensation, alone or in company , if for different reasons you do not feel comfortable to perform certain sexual practices, do not do them.

Although although it is true that in certain circumstances it is the idea of ​​sexuality and perfect bodies with which we are bombarded that generates rejection and frustrations to our own body and desires. Do not annul your sexuality by an absurd rule, you have a range of possibilities waiting for you. Bodies are changing, as we live they mark our experiences, stretch marks, scars, points, burns, gray hair, freckles, tattoos. If you were always the same, more than perfect, your body would be made of stone, intact, impassive in the face of life. Is that perfection? Accepting takes time , and it's a job, if you've already done it, congratulations. If not, perhaps it is time to reflect on it.

On many occasions, something as simple and at the same time as complicated as lack of time is what limits having sexual encounters. When this is the main complication, one of the strategies is to plan the meetings .

Also, it is on many occasions something as simple and at the same time as complicated as the lack of time that limits having sexual encounters. When this is the main complication, one of the strategies is to plan the meetings . In order to enjoy these, it is important to weave a network of trust in your environment where you can support yourself.

It is not the same to ignore parenting than to be irresponsible for your obligations. If you would use this resource when it comes to work, why not when it comes to time for you? Taking care of yourself is less important? This belief is deeply rooted in the idea of ​​being a mother and it is this very thing that on many occasions forces us to review what it means for me to be a mother and if it is the same as being a father, in order to free ourselves from imposed burdens and to be able to understand the same way the upbringing, to be able to arrive at a balance at the time of taking into account the sexuality. For this reason, it is important, if there is a partner, communication, expressing feelings, desires and frustrations. Reach agreements and above all distribute tasks and propose solutions.